Disco.

A friend of ours once owned one of the earlier Land Rover Discoveries, and despite it being built out of the Montego and Maestro parts  bins at BL, he swore it did all he asked of it. And as a climber and diver he asked a fair bit! It wasn’t pretty, but it looked functional. I have driven behind dozens over the following years, all unremarkable and an everyday part of the traffic. However, I have now had the misfortune of driving behind the latest Land Rover Discovery.

I would swear that my eyes were doing their best to crawl backwards into the dark, what an edifice, what an affront to taste! We had to stop behind it at a junction, and with time to think, some questions slithered into my curious mind. Why on earth hadn’t its owners just bought a Scania truck if they wanted to sit so high up, did they need oxygen, was there a collapsible ladder to get in with?  More generally, why was it even allowed past the design stage?

What more can I say, but that it’s no wonder this august company is struggling. As a painter this is an insult to the eye.

I’m sure the Americans will love it though…they do love cars with ‘fat arses.’

I’m going to stare at a photo of a Citroen DS from the back now, to help ease the dull ache in my retinas.

 

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Something a bit different for Christmas?

For various reasons I’ve not made it to any Craft Fairs this year, but I’ve still been busy creating stock in preparation. These latest five were specifically for this time of year and have just appeared on Social Media as a different approach to selling. They are selling at £25 each, which includes postage and packing to you.

And I didn’t mentioned Brexit once!

Variety is the spice of life.

I don’t often get pencil commissions but always enjoy them. Meet Remy and Tia. They had to be done twice to perfect Tia, but it worked in the end. I did get plenty of opportunity to use my only ‘power tool’  though. Not that I needed ear protectors or safety goggles mind…

Empty!

For the first time in an age my poor order book is empty. If you have ever thought of having a portrait of your pet painted or drawn in pencil, now is the time to say hello and find out more about my portraits.

What a face!

This is Boz, a character who adopted my brother several years ago. Boz had a great personality, as evidenced by this expression. I had been visiting and this was the look I got as I was getting into the car to go.I think he must have been very glad to reclaim centre stage, his true vocation.

(Boz is no longer of this word I’m afraid to say, his place soon taken by the gloriously coated Maisey.)

“…ensuring the Government looks more like the country it serves.”

A quote from Mrs. Mayhem I believe. If this is the case, may I just ask how many amongst this new cabinet are claiming Housing Benefit or Universal Credit? How many are getting PIP payments to help with their disabilities? How many are choosing between eating or heating? Just asking…I’m always curious.

Power Tools.

Other professions have reason to use all kinds of mighty power tools. Wild and noisy articles with strong titles. Torque wrench, nail gun, angle grinder, impact driver and the mighty chainsaw. These are all muscular wild animals that need careful handling and even protective clothing. They roar and scream, and fight back. They impart a tough manliness to those who master them.

Meanwhile, in the creative studio setting, the nearest you can get to these mighty beasts is this article. Meet the ‘Pen Eraser’ folks. It doesn’t quite ‘cut the mustard’ does it.